The fear of doing something poorly or not aligning with a certain aesthetic is a concern that plagues us. The nostalgia of 2016 is something people don’t want to release because that was a time when the pressure of being perfect wasn’t prevalent. You were care-free. You did what you wanted, posted what you wanted; you wore clothes that you liked without needing a second and third opinion, you didn’t attend to an algorithm — better times, if you will. Fast forward, and everyone yearns for the “old” Instagram, but nobody wants to be the pioneer of the restoration.
The continuous chase and glamorization of perfection is something insidious. It’s why we never try, why we never begin. It’s why we procrastinate. We care about who will see us and what they will say. I‘m teaching myself to give up the chase because it has seriously played a role in holding me back in numerous endeavors. Chasing an unrealistic standard while having everything you need at your fingertips is counterproductive.
You develop a pernicious relationship with perfection when your focus is on making yourself or whatever you lay your hands on perfect, rather than the journey of learning and evolving. You might even chastise yourself for not meeting ludicrous standards. Working towards being good at your craft, whatever that may be, can be healthy. It’s good to put time into what you care about. This can look like learning what you can about your passions, studying the journey of those who’ve attained the position you desire, or sitting and doing the work every chance you get. Caring about your appearance and wanting to look put-together can be healthy, too. You want your clothes ironed, nails groomed, hair done, and face clear of blemishes. But when we start to become intensely self-critical to the point where the love and passion for something (including ourselves) begins to fade, things get scary.
Never being satisfied is something dangerous. I still have to correct myself from time to time; I’ve grown not to view being a perfectionist as a badge of honor. The thought of doing something wrong or creating something “bad” doesn’t terrify me. So how do you overcome perfectionism? You be kind to yourself. You laugh at yourself. You allow yourself to be cringey. Stop letting failure ruin your life. Failure will never be the end for someone who’s persistent.
It’s difficult not to desire perfection when we live in a judgmental world. It’s almost like it’s not worth it if it’s not perfect on the first go round. And it’s discouraging when it looks like someone else got it right on their first attempt. You end up comparing yourself to someone who has years of hard work, setbacks, losses, rejections, and disappointments, and that’s an immense disservice to yourself. You shouldn’t set the fruits of someone else’s labor as your sole standard of excellence.
What’s imperfect to you may be life-changing to someone else. That podcast you’ve failed to start might give someone the push they need. Someone needs your skills, but you’re too afraid to share what you can produce because it’s not good enough in your eyes. Your art has healing powers, but the person who needs it won’t see it.
Perfection isn’t as attractive as authenticity is. Realness settles nicely on the eyes — it’s a lovely sight. For instance, there is nothing perfect about this blog, but you’re reading it. Believe it or not, someone’s life is tied to your work and your gifts — whether that’s working in a creative discipline, caring for others, public speaking, being a leader, formulating numbers, or whatever it is that’s unique to you. Don’t let perfectionism hold you back from doing what you’re called to do.
If you know you can do something better, then by all means go for it. Working towards improvement is a good thing. Do your best, as imperfectly as you think that is, and allow time and space for improvement as your efforts increase. You will learn and grow over time, but you must start. You must take the first step. More often than not, when we’re too busy trying to perfect every little thing, there is an absence of grace for ourselves. You’re doing the best you can with what you have, and that’s something to be proud of.